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At some point I had to acknowledge the woman who has helped to bolster up my daily stats for some time now: Claire Nazir.

Except that she is really called Claire Nasir. My misspelling is one that a number of people have made. The result of this is that I am no sort of authority on Claire Nasir, the GMTV weatherwoman, but I am the world's number four authority on Claire Nazir, the misspelled GMTV weatherwoman who doesn't actually exist.

I'm sure Claire Nasir has Googled Claire Nazir, just for the hell of it, and has been repulsed by my blog. Whenever I see her telling us about a band of scattered showers moving over the Welsh Marches, she is really trying to communicate to me through the medium of telepathy.

She is telling me that I am an evil, spiteful little bitch, and she is going to put a hex on every holiday that I go on. Bad weather will follow me everywhere.